i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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