I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
