Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Life is so much better after having sex.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
