Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
