I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
