I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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