Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
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