Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
