i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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