his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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