well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
