quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My pussy is not your playground.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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