even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
