How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
