How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
