I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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