All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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