Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
