you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
