dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
