oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
