you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
