Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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