we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
