If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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