How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
