If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
