How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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