I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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