he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
