butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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