I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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