You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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