no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
