I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
