just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
