S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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