After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
