Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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