If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
