Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
