Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
