that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Sorry about my life...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
