plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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