I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Vodka?
Forever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
