Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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