I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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