Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
