Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
