So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
